Sunday, February 9, 2014

You are in charge of...

This is a sentence that I speak regularly, multiple times a day to the small (and occasionally big) people of my house. It is a useful tool for correction, encouragement, and empowerment. It can also be hilarious. Here are the most recent "You are in charge of statements:"

1. You are in charge of your own socks. Said to my daughter who couldn't find the socks she had taken off (against my advice) before we left the house. She didn't want to go "all the way upstairs" to find more and somehow it was my fault. I simply reminded her that "no, you are in charge of your own socks"

2. You are in charge of your milk. Said to my daughter after she accidentally knocked down her cup of milk for the 4th time this week. Accidents become less accidental when the perpetrator takes absolutely zero precaution and ZERO responsibility. Listen up folks, they can learn to put the cup at the top of their place-mat and control those elbows or they can go get a dollar out of their piggy bank and fork it over. They are in charge of their milk!

3. You are in charge of your own butt. This is a profound one, but it really did come out of my mouth. I said it to my son who was somehow trying to convince me that his sister made him moon her. Nice one buddy, stay classy kid. Nope, you're in charge of your own butt.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Week 5 Poem: Happy 32

If today were your first birthday, or your third or ninety-third
it would be a miracle,
a miraculous bursting of life
of bright laughter and red streaks.
If today were your fourth birthday or your sixty-second,
it would be a treat, a gift to the land and sky
and trees would sway their hips
with the rhythm of celebration.
It would be a rain cloud, heavy with promise,
bloated with blessing
that would weep if today were your sixth birthday,
or your sixteenth. Sweet, sweet sixteen times two,
is you,
And Karl Malone, and Magic Johnson and Sandy Koufax all know
just as well as I do (for the next 4 months or so) that 32 is where it's at.
a happy number (mathematically speaking) and what's good enough for Beethoven (goose) is certainly good enough for the gander.
Thirty-two paths of wisdom-
Read the Kabbalah or just count my thirty-two grown up teeth.
Call Belgium or traverse the counties of Ireland, you'll always find thirthy-two. I'll join you
until May
and then you alone will carry the thirty-two torches.
You are a celebration any day.
Happy Thirty-two,
Happy Birthday,
Happy you!