Wednesday, May 28, 2014


I think I lost a friend today
I blame you
I suppose she wasn't a good friend, I suppose maybe neither was I. 
She tried to contain me;
I was salt in her wounds-- 
but you cut her first.
I never had a chance to be a salve- you taught her to mistrust love,
confusing disagreement for disrespect.
You convinced her that she was worthless, I could never compete with your booming voice.

Maybe she never had a trusted someone disappoint her and still prove faithful.
Every comment, a skulking insult
Every injury, amplified; I would forever have to live down your failings, never had the chance to remedy my own.

we could never be good friends to each other because you trained her that smiles and promises are always empty, just lip service. That I would always step on her to get to the top always look down in victorious glee. I could never just be climbing, I could never just be me. 

You stepped on her, you denied, you laughed. Maybe I remind her of you, your biting words your slapping hand. 

I know it's not good to blame, it helps no one. 
But what do I do here? 
I know it's out of my hands now. I know there are no words to say.
I know there is no love without trust 
and that in the battle between fear and trust, one must crush the other. 

Maybe you don't care, maybe you don't know how to care. Maybe no one taught you. 

But I lost a friend today, and I blame you. 

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